Happy new year all

So the year is at an end, cant say from a personal point of view that it has been spectacular but then I cant say it has been bad so no complaints there.
Good points: still alive, always a good thing. My daughter seems to be on her way to school genius (slight exaggeration but not to far off). I have learned to produce my own alcohol (what do you mean you’ve never tried, do it). My little sister got married.
Bad points: my wife and brother in law have both been ill with nasty illnesses. My bike stolen. Down to my last bottle of home made cider. From a music point of view I’m in no position to judge releases from 2007, most of what I’ve been listening to has been older, sometimes much older. I suppose the most listened to albums of 2007 are probably: Manic Street Preachers Send Away The Tigers, which while not a metal album by any means certainly appealed to me; New Model Army’s High which was almost a sure bet for me and; The 69 Eyes Angels who are a new discovery for me and both my daughter and myself think this album is brilliant, well recommended to any out there who have not listened to it.
Most listened to old stuff has to be (in no particular order), Tigertailz, Dogs D’armour, Black Sabbath and Little Angels.

By the way, I was in Sainsbury’s on Christmas Eve and I saw Father Christmas (Santa) and when I say that I mean the real one. He had waist length white hair and a big straggly white beard; he was dressed in a green jacket and knee length trousers with white stockings and brown shoes. None of this had the look of costume about it, his whole getup looked to well worn and used, nothing fake, he also had a look on his face that if you spoke to him he would rip your tits off, like an old angry hippy. So now you know, old Chris Cringle lives in the Chafford Hundred housing development in Essex England.

need to know

Is Robbie Rotten related to Johnny Rotten?
Why do we pay more tax on biscuits than cakes?

Ok so I am a bit slow on the uptake but I have just found out that Wolfsbane have reformed and are supporting the Wildhearts tonight at the Astoria. So the news has been knocking around for about two months but nobody fucking told me!
All my planned gigs have had to be cancelled this year but I think I would have really made the effort for this one but it now clashes with the works Christmas party. I will have to get doubly drunk now just to make it up.

nothing but a good time

There I was, singing along to an ad for the xbox 360 when suddenly two things occurred to me 1; I was singing along with a jingle and 2; even though I don’t think I had seen the advert I new the words, then it was gone and thought I new the words I couldn’t place them.
It took several occasions of watching the advert before it came to me, it was Poisons nothing but a good time sung by what sounds like a school choir.
So two questions, first, did they sing all the lyrics? And second, isn’t it all slightly wrong?

Everybody is pleased when they get a good deal and rightly so, but I think my wife wins deal of the year when she bought Catatonia’s international velvet on Amazon this week for the grand sum of 1p. Yes ladies and gentlemen 1pence. Postage and packing was £1.24 but we’ll let that pass, she also bought their greatest hits for £3.48 which I thought was a bit pointless given almost everything you could want would be on the first purchase.
I always had a thing for Catatonia or to be honest I should say Cerys Matthews after seeing them live at Reading in ’99.

As promised here is a picture of me dressed in an attempt to look like Mr A Cooper, I thought I looked sexier than this but my illusions have been destroyed, I have also learned the hard way not to mix beer and absinth.

hallowe'en

I am not really inot the whole Hallowe'en thing but here is a picture of a pumpkin carved by the kids which (witch) I thought was quite impressive

However I am going to a late party on saturday and will dress as Alice Cooper, hopefully a picture will be posted (if it doesn't look to shit).

I know as Hallowe'en costumes go it is a bit lame but I just want to dress up in chains and belts and have long hair again if only for one night.

Cherry Pie

Ive seen this album pop up a few times recently and I must be honest this record had quite an impact on me at the time of its release. Now I couldn’t give you a review of what it sounds like or even a loosely based opinion on its content, you see I think I only ever listened to it once.
Many years ago I worked in a multiplex cinema and amongst the staff was a couple of Scottish blokes, one of which was an argumentative and aggressive bastard of a floor manager who used phrases like “do what ah tell ya or ah rip ya tits off ya English bastards” to get us motivated. I really felt this guy had it in for me, especially when he found out I had been brought up catholic, I had never experienced sectarian prejudice before and it was a bit of a surprise (“do what ah tell ya or ah rip ya tits off ya catholic bastard”). There was something that tempered things a bit, at the time we were the only two metalheads who worked there (apparently he would get a new piercing every time he saw Iron Maiden but he had to give this up when he ran out of nipples) and with this in mind he lightened up on me a bit (“ya alright ya cath’lic bastard”).
So occasionally we would swap records or tapes and then one day he lends me cherry pie by warrant. That evening after finishing work I was given a lift home by a mate and I left the record sitting on the dashboard on his car, completely forgot about it for a few days until I saw him again, imagine my horror when I get back into his car and find a beautifully curved cherry pie LP, exactly matching the curve of his cars interior. Now I tried everything to sort this record out, I left compressed between big heavy books, I tried warming it and flattening it, I tried to iron it between sheets of tissue paper, I even tired to buy another to replace it but it seemed to have disappeared from all the shops.
I thought, my dad has an LP that he had walked into a chippy with sometime in the early seventies and that still played ok, so I put the record on and it sounded awful, bollocks. I kept hold of the record for months making excuses (“yeh it’s great, I just need to tape then I’ll bring it back”)
There was only one thing for it, own up, he was going to kill me. So with my affairs in order, my goodbyes said I approached the owner of said album and handed it back to him……..and he didn’t even bloody notice, ever.

Hobgoblin

I thought I would try something a bit different and do a beer review, and because I like the advert I tried hobgoblin.

So I opened a bottle while thinking how I was going to do this and before I know it its gone, so I have to open another to review but I’m now getting distracted by ….well beer I suppose. Now I’m on to the third bottle and I really can’t be arsed to review it, buy it yourself I’ve got some more drinking to do.

If I could lead the life I please then I would be a....

yesterday I reached crusty perfection, I have produced and more importantly drunk my own cider......and it aint to bad.

PS if anyone has a copy of the Levellers 1992 performance at Glastonbury could you let me know, I lent my copy to my brother in law and never saw it (or heard it) again.

Diamonds unlocked

I won the Axel Rudi Pell cd diamonds unlocked over at rock of ages and Bill asked for my opinions so here they are
1. The Diamond Overture pompous intro, like this but in an ironic sort of way
2. Warrior (Riot) do not know this one , but after listening to this I found it on youtube and I think I prefer the original, this version was a bit too over the top for me , could have been a bit rougher.
3. Beautiful Day (U2) just the look of horror on my wife’s face was enough to justify this song, and I also liked the direction taken.

4. Stone (Chris Rea) another I’m not too familiar with but with the help of youtube I would be happier listening to this.
5. Love Gun (Kiss) not familiar with this either(limited kiss listening),youtube again to the rescue, I like the original and while this is an alternative approach I don’t particularly like it

6. Fools Game (Michael Bolton) I have a natural aversion to anything bolton, so while I’m not to keen on this track its still an improvement in my mind
7. Heartbreaker (Free) ok but would still listen to original given the choice
8. Rock The Nation (Montrose) haven’t got a clue who Montrose are but I do like this track, it seems to fit nicely with my current late eighties early nineties listening which I am torturing my family with at the moment
9. In The Air Tonight (Phil Collins) while I don’t dislike Mr. Collins I wouldn’t say I like him either but this is probably my favorite track on this album, great.
10. Like A Child Again (The mission) well at least one track had to make me angry, round about ’92-’93 I was quite heavily into the mission so I had a fairly high standard for this, the intro with the piano was ok but once the vocals kicked my disappointment spilled over. This version sounds like it was written for Jon bon Jovi’s blaze of glory album. Sucks.
11. Won’t Get Fooled Again (The Who) like bill said, makes you want to go listen to the original, but enjoyable all the same.

I must admit to a weakness for covers and though a lot of this was unfamiliar to me I may just check out the originals in more depth, I have a discovered a lot of music this way.

heavy metal knitwear

At some point in the early 1990’s the jumper seemed to become the must have item for any self respecting metalhead, I don’t know if this was just a south east of England thing or if it was more wide spread. One friend of mine believes this was inspired by the biker look but I disagree. While the biker look has had major influences on the heavy metal look I believe the whole jumper thing was more of a grunge influence, I do not remember seeing any jumpers before this point and then suddenly every body was into knitwear, like all the aunties in all the world went mad.
One thing my knitwear opponent and I agree on is the strange phenomenom of detecting somebodys music taste by their choice of knitted garments.

Chunky heavy misshapen and black – male metalheads
Loose baggy cardigans – indie fans (pre Britpop)
Long black or dark green baggy cardigans or long loose (netlike) knit jumpers – Goth male or female (occasional female metal fans too)
Fitted green (dark) or black cardy usually worn with long skirt and docs – female metallers (some Goth influence here methinks)
Tight knit jumper or cardigan sometimes striped but almost any colour usually worn with a wasted stoned expression – grungers
Striped (and I mean seriously striped) many coloured (Joseph would have been proud) of almost any shape but preferably made from hemp – crusties

I still have my(second) black shapeless jumper (my first was disposed of by my wife when I said I would wear it for the births of all my children) and I also have a back up jumper just in case. In fact I have a lovely grey and white jumper that looks like a Britpop influenced heavy metal jumper, it looks a bit naff but its lovely in its own jumpery sort of way (and it was a Christmas jumper and that makes it special).

To be honest I think the very first time I came across heavy metal knitwear was probably 1989 on the alpha metalhead in Stanford , I think he wore it in his getting shitfaced capacity and seeing as he almost fitted in the Goth category it did not seem out of place, but I swear it was not until late ’92 that knitwear really made an impact( if you can describe it as such).

Written with the aid of Bells scotch.

p.s. 56% of readers of this blog prefer jumper to (44%) cardigans

RIP Pepsi

Having a bit of a trawl this evening I have come across the sad news that Pepsi Tate of Tigertailz has died after losing his fight with pancreatic cancer.
While I have a good laugh listening to the Tailz I still enjoyed their music and metalvillage would be a much duller place without them.

My condolences to Pepsi’s family and friends.

Some little fuckwits broke into my shed last night and stole my mountain bike, they will probably sell it for something ridiculous like £30, but it’s going to cost me £350 to replace it plus another £50 or so to replace the extras. Bastards.
I hope they get terminal boils on their collective arses the wankers.
I use my bikes like most people use their cars, I get very attached to the them and this is the second one I’ve had stolen in the last few years.

Farewell old friend

I have been very busy of late, not only have I finished a lot of home brew (I have something like 6 bottles of black berry wine, 6 bottles of kit red, 3 bottles of apple wine and 10 bottles of cider sitting in my shed) I have recently come into the possession of the diary of my great great grandfather whilst he was a love struck 25 year old on board HMS Raleigh in 1874. I am transcribing the diary and hope to stick on another blog. Like many other people I have caught the family history bug and have so far managed to trace some lines back over two hundred years. The diary is supposed to one of three but over the years the other two have gone missing.
Genealogy is very addictive so beware.

The kids have finally gone back to school, my eldest son starting secondary school a few days ago and already suffering stress from the homework overload. Poor sod. However, my daughter is happy with our new digital package because she can now watch kerrang TV, this is causing several conflicts within the household (cartoon network v kerrang v cbeebies v eastenders), personally I would rather read a book.

Back on the kerrang TV thing, I noticed that when they show the video to Greenday’s Jesus of Suburbia they pixel out all the cigarettes but openly show teenage sex, vandalism, domestic violence and drug use, how does that make sense?

For your education and entertainment the full on version

this did inspire me to try to figure out the whole "concept" behind the album, after several hours of rereading the lyrics and listening to the album I came to the conclusion its about disaffected youth and rebellion, well thats a no brainer, its a punk album.

pot kettle black

Funny article over at blabbermouth, appears EMO fans have got their knickers in a twist over Machine head winning best album at the Kerrang awards.
As with most news articles on the web I like to read the comments section, these I find are far more telling than the news item itself. the response of the anti-emo crowd seems just as juvenile as the My Chemical Romance supporters on the Kerrang forum.
Can the grown ups please come back the children are getting unruly.

Oh but it did make me laugh.

birthday

I missed it on friday but it was the blogs first birthday

Any suggestions what to do about a cat that insists on sitting on top of your monitor and farting would be most appreciated.

high-new model army

I can never say anything bad about this band, even if I didn’t like the album I would not rant about it just put it down as one of those things.
First listen on Monday night I thought it might be just so, apart from a few tracks it felt like their last release Carnival which left me a little cold, but after a few listens today I am glad to discover that I am completely wrong.
The key I think was volume (Mrs was at work so no complaints about it being to loud). While High does not reach the greatness of Thunder & Consolation or Impurity, the album still inspires. New Model Army write songs for the people, songs about life, god, love and hate, disappointment and disillusion, its not teen angst its just angst. They seem to project a sort of spiritual nationalism that has nothing to do with religion or nation, just everyday life, a nation of people bound together through life. It makes you angry and happy at the same time (well it does for me).
To be honest individual tracks seem almost irrelevant, you can mix and match almost anything by these guys, and it works. What you get is a picture, though depending on your mix the picture will tell you slightly different things.

This album is good, there I said it, I would love to go through track by track but I do not have the time, you can download the first track from the album here (plus some other stuff). This band has never reached the greatness they so richly deserve, but having said that I like the feeling of privilege I get from being a fan, it’s personal.
Carnival may have suffered by the time of its release, with the littlest metalhead only 7 months old and my wife still on maternity leave the CD probably suffered from terminal quietness, this I will have to rectify.

The tour hits London in December and I thought I would give it miss this year; this may have changed my mind.

You Are a Blue Crayon

Your world is colored in calm, understated, deep colors. You are a loyal person, and the truest friend anyone could hope to find. On the inside, you tend to be emotional and even a bit moody. However, you know that people depend on you. So you put on a strong front. Your color wheel opposite is orange. Orange people may be opinionated, but you feel they lack the depth to truly understand what they're saying.

What Color Crayon Are You?

Hmmmm what ever!

New Model Army are back

Finally got hold of a copy of Raw Melody Men by New Model Army, it was a couple of tracks taped from this live album that first introduced them to me, followed a few weeks later when I was dragged to one of the best gigs I had been to at that point. I‘ve been hooked ever since.

Further more a new album is due out on the 20th of this month, and this the one band whose albums I will buy without thought. It’s not that every release is a winner but they all contain good tunes and 8/10 are brilliant. The only two I do not like through and through are Strange Brotherhood and Carnival.

Let’s just hope the local HMV gets a copy in.

Rosenrot

A very recent acquisition Rammstein’s 2005 album Rosenrot.
My daughter and I have differing opinions on this one, she prefers the older stuff while I think it is the best of the three that I have. Her argument that it lacks the heaviness of the previous albums ( we (I)have Herzeleid and Mutter) but like most “yoof” she judges things by other standards, the ironic thing is she will probably end up listening to indie pop as she gets into her college years.
The best track on here in my opinion has to be Stirb Nicht Vor Mir//Don't Die Before I Do which features Texas singer Sharleen Spiteri, a haunting little ballad sung in both German and English it certainly appeals to my darkness.

Rammstein’s appeal is the aggressive ambience it creates, a sort of nameless anger almost, perfect for cycling through woodlands too. My word of advice to any non-German speakers (like myself) is to leave the translations well alone, they spoil the effect, and something is always lost in translation.

I'd like to leave you with a video shot durin their tour of Legoland.

I’m a bit behind with this one and I had intended to say something earlier but when the time came I just could not be bothered, but now after some thought on the subject I think the time for righteous indignation is now.
Mr Michael Eavis, 72-year-old dairy farmer and grandpapy of Glastonbury has said he thinks the festival has become too middle aged and too middle class.
Let us start with the second bit first, middle class has always been Glastonbury and Glastonbury has always been middle class. Who else could take the time off work and travel halfway across the country to sit in a field stoned for three days in 1970 (apart from my mother in-law(how weird’s that )), and who else can afford the exorbitant ticket price that is now demanded by the vendors of free love and enlightenment.
Now lets move on to middle aged, does this mean there is an upper age limit to liking live music, if and when you reach a certain age do you have to start listening to Danny O’Donnell or cliff Richard? Does the guy not realize that Keith Richards is now well past one hundred and ten years old, that even the Sex Pistols will soon be reaching pensionable age (sorry Johnny, a little inaccurate but I am trying to make a point). What is the certain age? Where can I go when I reach it? How much will it cost? A lady I worked with had come back from a holiday, I asked her if she had enjoyed it she replied “it was fantastic but one thing worries me, mike(her husband) and I are nearing retirement and the only thing on offer for us is tea dances, we grew up on the Stones and Beatles we don’t want to go to fucking tea dances”.
Fair enough

Harry Potter and the healthy salads

I didn’t want to jump on the bandwagon and rush out and buy myself a copy of the new Harry Potter book, and as my daughter had already ordered her copy months ago with her birthday money it seemed a waist, but I cannot go through what happened with the last book. About fifty pages from the end of the book my son says to me “do you want to know who dies?” , I replied “no, and if you tell me you are grounded for ever” my daughter then says “you don’t know what happens” “yes I do Dumbledore dies”
“Aaaaaaaaaaaargh”
So this time I will not wait, I have agreed with my daughter that I will only read it when she has gone to sleep, she did not stop reading and go to bed until 12.30. its now 03.20 and I think its time I stopped, if any of you finish it before me and ruin the ending I will find out where you live and burn your house down.
Good night.

eating my words

I have decided to revisit some of the albums that I dismissed earlier in this blog. I think it has taken time for me to re acclimatize to some of the music. With more and more late eighties and early nineties music finding itself in my CD rotation this seems a logical step, there must be a reason I liked it first time round.

I have so many new albums over the last two months I do not have time to listen to them all. The best buy was probably The Almighty’s Just Add Life, which looks like a Brit pop album and sounds like punk, but for 75p who can complain. I bought another two from Amazon, one from the US that arrived in two weeks and another from the UK that took five, one had to cross the Atlantic and the other just a hundred miles or so, that does not seem right in my opinion.
At the moment I am listening to Ozzy's new album Black Rain which is quite enjoyable, I’m always a bit wary of Ozzy as I find him a bit hit and miss but this is quite satisfactory.

Finally got round to replacing all the Iron Maiden stuff I have on vinyl with CDs so anything I get from now on will be effectively a new purchase and I like the idea of the whole collection making up a picture of Eddie, small things eh?

On the subject of Iron Maiden a friend of mine managed to blag a couple of free tickets to the Brixton academy gig last month, jammy tosser. He doesn't even like Maiden as far as I know.

the weather

Looks like we are having a typical English summer. Or should I say a traditional English summer, a typical English summers seem to be hot and dry, where a traditional English summer is cold and wet.
Not that I mind the rain, as Jeremy Paxman says in his book The English, A Portrait of a People the sky is the landscape for the English(or something to that effect).
Last night the sky look particularly spooky weird, it was about eleven o’clock and the lower level clouds drifting north to south were under lit by the sun now set well beyond the horizon giving them a dark dirty yellow colour. Above that much higher up and moving from west to east you could make out the storm clouds completely black, not cloud black but more an absence of light. Beyond the storm clouds was the night sky, a dark greyish blue without any stars. All this time the wind was picking up pace and wiping around and changing direction every 30 seconds or so. Eerie but cool.

I like the weather we get in the Britain and I really do not know why the locals complain. I have been rained on in every nation in the isles and I still enjoy it (except in Leeds where it sucks)

This week I have been listening to a lot of Nymphs, well when I say a lot I mean their one and only album of the same name. Described by allmusic.com as the last great glam-metal album before grunge killed the genre, Nymphs to me seems to bridge the gap. This was one band that showed a lot of promise in my opinion, but faded very quickly into obscurity.
A girl at work, a fellow metalhead (the same one that recommended the Pearl Jam gig at Southend), and a good source of new music first recommended me to them, but it was not until a year later that I picked up the cassette in a sale. I instantly fell in love with the album and it is one of the few that had regular outings (right up until mp3 took over personal cassette players). There is a certain inevitability and mournfulness about the Nymphs music that seems to mirror their rather rapid destruction.

Here is a download for sad and damned though my personal favourite track is Imitating Angels

On a plus note, the lead vocalist Ingre Lorre really pissed off Courtney Love.

all gone

The beard has gone.
Partly due to pressure from my wife (telling I look like a pervert) and partly due to the annoyance it was starting to cause me, but mostly because I lost a swizzles fizzer in it the other day.

Iron Maiden at Brixton

Iron Maiden are performing a one off gig at the Brixton academy on the 24th June in aid of the Clive Burr ms trust fund. I only found this out today and by the time I would have completed the necessary grovelling and begging to my wife to let me take my daughter I think all the tickets will have gone (assuming I could afford the wildly inflated prices that will be in demand). To see Maiden in a venue that is relatively small compared to where I have seen them play would just be amazing, and what a way to introduce the next generation to gigging. Que Sera Sera.

I would also like to say thank you to anonymous for not giving me something he hasn’t got. Cheers.

Disaster II

My taped copy of Tigertailz Young and Crazy has been terminally mangled by my cassette deck, this is the third time in recent months the machine has tried to eat something it shouldn’t have. The first was my copy of Quireboys A Little Bit of What You Fancy, which I have now replaced on CD, Then Ozzy’s Speak Of The Devil, which I managed to save, and now this.

Looking around the internet for a replacement I am shocked at what this is demanding on CD, Amazon has it priced at £42.95, and I have even seen one priced at $102 so that must work out roughly £51, outrageous if you consider these are all second hand. The album is much cheaper on LP but that’s not an option at the moment.

I had only listened to Young And Crazy once since rescuing it from my mother in laws a week ago, and I had quite enjoyed it too (please don’t ask me to elaborate on why). The tape is still in one piece but has a tear and very crumpled so I may be able to repair it, pity I no longer know any cinema projectionists, they used to have some great stuff for fixing tapes.

£50 for a 20 year old CD that nobody admits to liking, what is the world coming to?

tattooed millionaire

Let’s set the scene.
It’s raining, a lot, its also quite mild and therefore good beer weather.
Beer always tastes better when there is a lot of moisture in the air (or it does for me). Weather like this reminds me of the times when I was a young metal head and it never seemed to stop raining, but that’s ok, I like rain.

Bruce Dickinson released his debut solo album Tattooed Millionaire in 1990 in what felt like the dying days of iron maiden, my friends and I thought the album was great at the time but to be honest I have not listened to it in 15 years or so. Time to revisit it methinks, inspired of course by rock of ages.

1. Son of a gun; as this track started my daughter walks in and asks if this is guns n roses or iron maiden, I ask her what she thinks and she replies iron maiden, close I say (impressed that she can notice the similarities for somebody who listens only to stuff released since 2005. says it all really, but I enjoyed this track, so far so good.
2. Tattooed Millionaire; now I know I had gone of this song years ago but I persevered and listened and I still don’t like it. Trying to hard to be angry.
3. Born in 58; liked this, in fact it seems quite relevant to how I feel today, a feeling of losing something beyond my control, as if the past no longer matters. Other artists have done this better but this song still appeals.
4. Hell on wheels; ok now Bruce is trying to be somebody else, not to sure on this track.
5. gypsy road; not to sure what’s going on here, trying t hard to be serious, no its not working, sorry.
6. Dive, dive, dive; ok that’s bad, it’s like a heavy metal carry on sketch but not funny.
7. all the young dudes; great track, like this a lot but not sure if it’s the song itself or the cover version, but better version of this song about but it is a great song.
8. Lckin’ the gun and 9. Zulu Lulu; yep these both sound like Aerosmith covers that Aerosmith never wrote, again trying to be somebody else maybe?
9. no lies; couldn’t figure this one out, to be honest I had lost interest by this point and was concentrating more on getting Sunday dinner ready.

So it was not as good as I remembered but on the whole it was nice to listen to it again, the album comes across as something he needed to get out of his system but he went on to do a lot more solo stuff of which I have never listened to, which for all I know could be far superior.

To put the album into a little bit of context; this was something I had recorded from a friend so on the flip side of the tape was Giant and their album Last Of The Runaways, when Tattooed Millionaire finished I turned the tape over and thought what the hell, 30 seconds latter I was rewinding the tape so I could play the other side again.

new stuff

I took a chance and bought Linkin Parks new album.
And its shit.
I think I’ll take it back and exchange it (unless my daughter wants it). I get the impression they are trying to be U2, everything from the album art work to the songs them self give this impression, but the band don’t carry it off I’m afraid.
I can see why they have done this, its to break the mould, make a clean break and not be confined to the same style but the whole thing just come across as unmemorable and unimpressive.
Good luck to them but it’s not for me.

On a plus note I managed to grab a copy of Backstreet Symphony by Thunder on CD from eBay, I already have this on vinyl but no assessable record deck. I also have a long awaited replacement of Open Up And Say Ahh on order (my first copy was chewed up in a cheap personal cassette player about 1991) and a CD of Skid Row’s Slave To The Grind of which I only have a tape recording of.

oh dear

I am 30% Metal Head.

Most other metal-heads acknowledge my presence, but they laugh at me behind my back. Maybe I need to stop spending all that money on haircuts and invest in a few Pantera T-shirts.

Take the
Metal Head Test
@ FualiDotCom

there's more where that comes from

battle of the beard

I have a beard
So what you all say
I nearly always have a beard, a small, short neat one
This one is getting wild
Well my wife and daughter want it gone
My sons support in this hairy endeavor and my work colleagues also stand by me
But my wife is all powerful
And my daughter is her mother’s daughter

So in the words of Mick Jones

Darling you gotta let me know
Should I shave or should I grow?
If you say that you are mine
Ill be hair til the end of time
So you got to let know
Should I shave or should I grow?

Should I shave or should I grow now?
Should I shave or should I grow now?
If I grow it will be double
And if I shave there will be stubble
So come on and let me know

What should I do?

fantasy festival

Festival season is coming up and so far none of the line ups are perfect, but they never are so I have decided to come up with my own three day fantasy festival. Theses are not necessarily my favourite bands but just some I would like to see in a festival line up. Here goes,

Day one

Fun lovin’ criminals
Dick Dale
Kasabian
Pixies
U2* *I intend to be watching Fields of the Nephilim at another stage but if I’m too wankered to move I need something acceptable here.
Iron Maiden

Day two

Reef
Levellers
Velvet Revolver
Motley Crue
Bon jovi* *definitely not watching these, I’ll be watching Carter USM followed by New Model Army at another stage.
Rammstein

Day three

Green Day
Janice Joplin (it is a fantasy festival)
Rolling Stones (playing hot rocks)
Nirvana
Ramones
Jimi Hendrix


I have to limit the number of bands knowing my festival habit of spending most of the morning and early afternoon in a local pub.

The festival will probably have to held on the banks of the river Styx

A very eventful day, I completed my karate grading for yellow belt and discovered a new beer. I have promised myself a treat if I passed the grading so tomorrow I will buy myself the new Linkin Park album and maybe something a tad older like Motley Crue or Alice Cooper or something.
On a more important note, beer, it has been around a while but this is the first time I’ve tried it. Peeterman Artois is a nice change from generic lager, but not as heavy as some of the beers I have been trying recently (I have been working my way through the English ales and bitters at the local), Peeterman goes nicely with a salad (there you go; you’ve made admit to eating salads).

current listening

Tigertailz – bezerk
Guns’n’roses – appetite for destruction
Velvet revolver – contraband
w.a.s.p. – last command
aerosmith – pump
Nirvana – nevermind
wolfsbane – down fall all the good guys
kerrang – under the influence
britny fox – boys in heat
Thunder – backstreet symphony
w.a.s.p. – live ….in the raw
helloween - keeper of the seven keys part ii

Bezerk?

Overcoming many years of post grunge heavy metal inhibitions takes time.
I first resurrected Bezerk by Tigertailz from ye dusty olde tape box a couple of months ago. When I first tried listening to the album it had a similar effect to eating too much ice-cream followed by a cup of tea, sick and sticky. Sunday I again attempted to listen to this tape all the way through and despite comments from my daughter (“what’s this you’re listening to?” in an oh my god you’ve cracked tone of voice) and my wife (“what’s this shit?”always to the point) I actually managed it.
It took some time to find what I had originally found appealing about this album, in fact I may not have found it but at least I got something else from it this time round other than nausea. Another thing I have discovered, when you dig out these old tapes it is important to listen to side A first, I don’t know why but it changes the whole perspective of the album, so rewind it if you have to, and don’t be shy, turn up the volume, it makes a difference (also makes it harder to hide your shame). So I enjoyed listening this time, in fact I have put in rotation with the other stuff by the stereo, the album has one big down point and that is the awful Heaven, the last song on side A, but if you can get over that and overall cheesiness of it all then its an enjoyable listen.

more Illusions

Right next door to hell – and why not? Has a good intro to lead you in, not as good as welcome to the jungle but then what is?
Don’t damn me – I like it, so what.
Bad apples
dust n’ bones
pretty tied up – a bit prophetic don’t you think?
Garden of Eden – has some pace, like it
you could be mine - a hard choice, I almost dropped this because I didn’t feel that it fit, but I like this song to much, it stays. And that intro? cool.
Locomotive – the only song to use “use your illusion” in the lyrics, it’s a must
don’t cry (alt lyrics) – I had to pick one of the two Don’t Cry’s, just happened to be this one. Personally both versions of this song get on my tits.
live n’ let die – at first I was not going to include any covers but this rocks, before I heard this I thought anything McCartney was tainted by the frog song
breakdown – great song, pity about the silliness at the end
estranged – when this song begins you get an inward groan the says “not this shit again” but by the time the song reaches full swing you are totally immersed and have forgotten about the crappy introduction
14 years - possibly the best song on the two discs
you ain't the first – nice and malevolent, this is what I want from guns ’n’ roses, it’s the rocket queen of the two albums


Almosts

Civil war – one of my favorites and in there right till the end, can’t really explain why I dropped it but it did not seem to fit, and made the album to long
Knockin’ on heavens door – good cover (apart from the dialogue in the middle), but as I had already decided to ignore the covers and failed something had to give
November rain – another song I like but far to long and I certainly didn’t want another epic ballad.
Yesterdays – like salt and vinegar crisps, you only eat them after the cheese and onion are gone.

Definitely nots

Coma – good song, I like it, but where the fuck did that come from?
Get in the ring – juvenile shite, what piece of crap. This should buried deep in some obscure session’s release.
My world – b-side material

more illusions

use your illusion

Well here is my Use Your Illusion album

right next door to hell
don’t damn me
bad apples
dust n’ bones
pretty tied up
garden of eden
you could be mine
locomotive
don’t cry(alt lyrics)
live n’ let die
breakdown
estranged
14 years
you ain't the first

hopefully tonight I will be able to offer some explanations for the track selection.

Happy St George's day

deal of the week

I picked up Aerosmith’s Pump today in Woolworths for £1.97, what a good buy. Tomorrow (this) morning the kids are going to be subjected to it over breakfast, it’s their own fault for having a father like me.

My evil wife has had my youngest's hair cut, my brother recently visiting from Australia described him as a little surfer dude, now he looks like a prospective member of the Hitler youth. This is not the first time she has done this, the last time she shaved my other sons head on his second birthday, he went from little surfer dude to trainee American marine in one afternoon. Many people think I’m bald but the truth is it’s my wife oppressive hair regime.

I miss my hair

Drunken germ laden ramble

I have a stinking cold. I am trying to counter the symptoms using a tried and tested method involving alcohol and cheese and onion crisps, it doesn’t work but why pass on a good idea because it fails?
My daughter played me an “inspired by” CD for My Chemical Romance that featured Helloween, this has sent me digging through ye dusty old tape box again and I now have a load of stuff to listen through including Helloween (naturally), Cinderella, Motley Crue, Faith No More, Britney Fox and Aerosmith.
My kids are going to suffer.

I have almost finished my “Use Your Illusion” album and sometime later this week should have a justification for the track listing, this has been put together on a personal level that has little to with musical techno whatsits which are beyond me.

My youngest sister got married on Saturday and they had a metal band playing at the reception, it was a good night and my youngest son almost managed to pull the singer, she was somewhat taken with him though she had to turn him down on the account of him being only two, better luck next time son(just leave it fourteen years please).

My daughter was a brides made and she looked lovely, she made up for this however with a bout of teenage moodiness untl she was aloud to change back into knackered jeans and her nirvana t-shirt (I had to act pissed at this but its what I would have done).

the bride looked lovely too, and as the groom is now family I had better say he looked lovely also.

on this day

in 1970 Paul McCartney said that he's bought the film rights to Rupert the Bear.

in 1982 Iron Maiden's The Number of the Beast is UK LP no. 1

in 1912 the Titanic set out on its maiden voyage

1849 saw the patent for the safety pin

1994, over 5,000 fans attended a US public memorial service for Kurt Cobain at Seattle Flag Pavilion

and in 2007 I had to drink a pint of guinness from a plastic "glass" in A PUB, what is the world coming to?

This week I is mostly listening to

This is mostly this chap’s fault.
Appetite For Destruction and the two Use Your Illusion albums are regulars in my play list anyway but I have been inspired to listen to them in a different way, or should I say I have been inspired to actually listen to them.

Metal Marks first G'n'R related post was to create a super album out of Use Your Illusions I and II, I almost have my selected track list and just need to sort out the running order. I found it easier to ditch tracks than pick out the best. The initial rules I set myself for selecting the songs were ditched almost immediately (no covers, no soundtracks nothing over x amount of time) and instead I just went for what I liked and then I will decide (or try) what works together.

His second article came as a bit of a shock.
Appetite is twenty years old.
Ok so I didn’t come across it till a year later, but to think something I regard as an album of my time, something from my conscious listening period is twenty years old is very strange. Appetite for destruction has always been in my list of favoured records (or cds once I started updating), even though I have not always admitted it, there have been long periods when it was considered seriously uncool to be a Guns n’ Roses fan and I still haven’t forgiven them for that appalling cover of sympathy for the devil. I have my favourite songs from the album (rocket queen, welcome to the jungle) but to read through and then listen to it you realise that it is a superb work, it really does rock in a greater sense than just rock, and it’s very hard to find a fault with any of the songs.

The crying shame is the failure to produce anything good enough to follow it up, while Use Your Illusions I & II are very enjoyable and good in their own way they do not measure up to Appetite and what else have Guns n’ Roses done? I listened to the Spaghetti Incident once or twice and G’n’R lies was a cobbled together piece that has merit but was not really an album and the greatest hits doesn’t count.

There is still Chinese Democracy to look forward too (cough).

Folk off

I another attempt to drown out the cravings of nicotine withdrawal by drinking I have found myself mildly pissed and rambling.
I have a confession to make (apart from the one about steeling a cigarette from my wife), I like folk music.
It may start from listening to a tape given to me by Scott. It must have been sometime in ‘91(possibly,, I dunno I’m drunk) when he gave me a copy of nevermind by nirvana, I had already started to listen to punk at this point so when he asked me what to put on the other side I told him to stick whatever he liked on the tape.
Now I don’t like Scott, or should I say I didn’t like Scott, he was a prime wanker, an indie tart, to admit he had a major influence on my musical taste is a shame without parallel. This tape introduced me to the likes of the pixies, new model army, the levellers and fields of the nephilim.
It was the new model army and levellers that first opened the gateway to folk, I had always had a thing for Clannad when I was totally wasted but here was an angrier punky dimension, soon I was listening to the Pogues, Billy Bragg, Christy Moore and Kirsty Mccoll, by 1995 I was listening to little else. The Cranberries, Wonderstuff, Jools, bob Dylan and don McLean; I was almost ready to take up country dancing and start drinking real ale.
To this day I still have folky moments, I have drifted away from the Irish folk because I find it to whinny (apart from the Pogues), but the rest rocks. I like protest music, even when I disagree with the protest, it has more passion. When pop artists release something for charity or in support of a good cause you can always tell there is a contrived and marketed angle to the music, take the latest comic relief song walk this way, it sucks.
Rock music and folk music are very close in my opinion, both can be empty, hollow expressions of righteousness and aniseed or emotional barrages that make you sit up and take notice.
Whatever.
Folk rocks
Rock folks.

I don’t like Swedes, I don’t like any root vegetable

I hate Ikea, no that’s not right, I really fucking hate Ikea, it makes me angry.
Today’s Ikean adventure began before we even entered the sodding shop, driving around the car park for twenty minutes with a pissed off two year old in the back, me saying “look just park the car in B&Q and we can walk”, but no we have to park here.
Then we have the fourteen people and four pushchairs in the lift experience before the final dash to find what we want and pay for it. When I say final dash I am using a certain amount of license, an hour and a half just to find a frigging notice board and then get out.
I reckon that Ikea is Swedish for wanker.

Shocking

It's amazing what crap turns up when you are having a sort out, check out this suplement that came with Kerrang 358 in september '91

Could you imagine Ozzy naked now? ..............shudder

family outings

All metal heads want to be rock stars, it’s a given. I now formally pass my torch on to my children.
I do this for two reasons;1) I am getting to old and 2) I am absolutely talentless.

Why is this relevant? Even the coolest Hendrix/Cobain/Vicious wannabe has family; mums and dads can be such a drag on your street cred. How can you form the new Iron Maiden when your dad keeps telling you to cut your hair or you have to collect your little sister from the local catholic junior school, or worse still your mother is on your back about getting a job?

Before I got a full time job my mum insisted on dragging me shopping every Monday(it may have been Tuesday) to Asda’s in Tilbury, this I could handle and even after I started working I would still sometimes go with her just to try and be an embarrassment and to take the piss out of her friends. Family outings however where something different.

Only a few spring to mind though there must have been many more. There was a trip to Clacton organised by mum’s church, she made me dress fairly respectably (jeans and plain t-shirt) and I had to behave. After sitting on the beach for about half an hour I made my excuses(find a toilet) and left, my brother found me about two hours later wearing a sleeveless guns’n’roses t-shirt with “shit happens” stamped across it, some itsybitsy sunglasses and three and a half empty newky brown bottles. I had found a market stall that supplied the essentials and a shop selling bottle openers, what more do you need?
Needless to say I don’t think mum was impressed.
Another one was a trip to London zoo with my dad, brother and sisters. My dad was the last person I wanted to spend the day with but felt I had a duty to go(something to do with him paying for a tickets and us begging him to take us, seems to have forgotten we had asked him about two years earlier), my brother and I snuck off and spent ages trying to convince the lady in the shop to sell me some fags, I went all day with out a smoke, fucking great, nearly 19 and the bitch refused me, this after a lecture about not becoming a hippy and the usual haircut routine, stomping around a blazing hot stinking zoo, trying to be interested in a bunch of animals that I couldn’t give a toss about, and this was on a Saturday which I rarely got off work, I could have been somewhere else with beer.
Ditto a trip to the Southend air show, though on this occasion I bumped into my mates, left dad with the siblings (he can be quite understanding at times) and off we went to the cliffs pavilion to pay extortionate amounts of money for warm beer, seemed all the metallers had the same idea, it had an almost gig like atmosphere.

Its my turn now, I have the moody disinterested child in tow, though she has yet to discover alcohol, and it probably wont be long before child number two joins her.

Love/Hate

Remember Love/Hate?
I was never a big fan though I absolutely loved Black Out In The Red Room and Wasted In America, both of which I have on vinyl but would not bother to buy on cd just for two songs, but hey, you can download the whole lot of love/hate for free on their website plus they have great stories.

I always saw them as a sort of pregrunge anti-glam, as sort of scuzzy Motley Crue, another band my friends thought was a complete waste of time, but my tastes always seemed slightly out of tune.

go punk

Every body and I mean everybody must go to this site.
It should be law
punk-o-matic

play list

My current stack of cd’s by my stereo is:
Little of the past-little angels (newest purchase so obviously it’s going to be there)
Down fall all the good guys-wolfsbane (oldest cd in the pile)
Black holes and revelations-muse (brilliant (actually my daughters but im bigger than her))
Costello music- the fratellis (when my daughter hasn’t stolen it)
Edward the great-iron maiden
The very best of Nina simone-nina Simone (sooo cool)
Mix cd-inc. quireboys, dogs d’amour, black crows and the almighty (and to my shame some g’n’r)

What you up to?

a little of the present

All hail eBay!
I have just received (and listened too) Little Of The Past by Little Angels, fantastic.
Released on the 11th April 1994, it covers most of the stuff they did (as far as I know) though I was disappointed to see DoYouWanna Riot was not on the CD (though I downloaded this from kazaa a few years ago so that doesn’t matter too much).
I also read that their first headline at Hammersmith sold out on 25th may 1991 so I checked my old ticket stub, and hey guess what? Rick and I must have bought a couple of the last few tickets if not the last. I remember hanging around the box office until it opened and being told that they only had tickets left with a restricted view, when we asked what this meant we were told there was probably a pillar or something in the way, turned out it was front row next to a stack of speakers. I still have problems hearing people to this day but that may have more to do with a short attention span and a don’t really give a fuck attitude.

Still a good listen, not sure how I got from this to Rammstein though.

name the year

when was this picture taken?

Wow, Bruce Dickinson does a radio show for BBC 6, I was searching for The Almighty (the band not THE ALMIGHTY) when I found it, and I am listening to it as I type.
This almost started as a piece about Sarah Jane Honeywell from tikkabilla (I am watching far too much cbeebies at the moment, its hard having a stroppy two year old).
Back to The Almighty, according to kerrang they are about to release a sort of greatest hits cd covering the last god knows how many years, I don’t think I’ll buy it, I would rather try and get the original albums. Thank god for eBay.

I will soon be able to give you views on Trivium as my daughter has decided that this is the latest band she is into, from what I’ve heard so far they sound a bit like Metallica or Helloween with screaming. Her birthday is soon and she has put an album on her prezzy list.

Back to Q magazine, I bought this for my wife because it had a 28 page article on U2, it contains an interview on the band from none other than chief toss pot Tony Blair (wanker), and I think that says it all for Bono.

voice of rock

I have stumbled across(ok I got the web address from q magazine) a John Peel blogsite that gives loads of downloads for sessions by all sorts of artists, the site in turn links to shit loads of others dedicated to the late prince of alternative and obscure music. With John Peel and Tommy Vance now both gone, who do we have left as the voice of rock?

Well Lauren Laverne works for me.

the next generation

So the next bunch of rock fans is with us. Last weekend was my mums 60th birthday, it involved a small gathering of family who though all live locally rarely see each other (we are very close). To my amusement it seems all the kids between 12 and 16 are EMO . My daughter, my cousins two kids and my youngest cousin were all dressed the part, converse shoes, fall out boy wrist bands, skulls and whatnot every where. What’s really funny is that none of them talked to each other, all related , all into the same music and each to their own misery bubble, one for each corner of the room so to speak.

I discovered my cousin(of the two kids) was also not so square as I had believed, I thought his closest relationship to rock was listening to queen or dire straits but he surprised me by gloating he is of to see muse later this year and saw green day last year. Bastard.

I like muse, or at least I like their latest album, it’s like the bastard lovechild of black Sabbath and queen doing the sound track to a spaghetti western set on mars. In fact I would say it’s my most listened to CD at the moment.

Just before Christmas I managed to get hold of another Wolfsbane CD, massive noise injection is one fucking funny live album, as a rule I don’t normally do live albums but Blaze Bailey’s dialogue with the crowd is just brilliant, who else can threaten to kill members of the audience if they don’t start dancing?

Getting back to my daughter, almost 13 and developing into quite the rock fan, she came down stairs on Christmas day in a Nirvana t-shirt, black converse and a tatty pair of jeans; it was like 1992 all over again. This week she has been trying to dye her hair purple or red, instead she just managed to make a mess of the bathroom, she has also started to buy kerrang (which saves me from having to do it) and is now stealing some of my more contempory CD’s (funny enough not the Wolfsbane though).