Some little fuckwits broke into my shed last night and stole my mountain bike, they will probably sell it for something ridiculous like £30, but it’s going to cost me £350 to replace it plus another £50 or so to replace the extras. Bastards.
I hope they get terminal boils on their collective arses the wankers.
I use my bikes like most people use their cars, I get very attached to the them and this is the second one I’ve had stolen in the last few years.

Farewell old friend